Week 16 – Kindness

๐Ÿ™‚ This week has brought a great difference for me with focussing on kindness. Everything is much easier and lighter, the knots and cramps are disappearing. When I noticed that I was tense, stressed or just felt down I turned my attention to kindness. I smiled a lot more and noticed the bright side of life (although it is January) ๐Ÿ™‚ How can I be kind? – I really enjoyed thinking about different ways of kindnesses that I could do for others. Little ones, for example I always filled up and boiled the kettle so the person after me will have to spend less time with making a cup of tea, or I put the randomly picked up and later left items back into their place in the shop. A neighbour asked me for some details of a particular course for his friends to do which I did not do but promised to find out some information. To my biggest surprise the next day I went to work there was a new member of staff there from the same country as my neighbour having freshly finished that course, and was very helpful to get in touch with my neighbour.

The world is so kind. It is a shame I have not noticed it earlier and now I am so grateful to be part of it and there is an excitement in me and eagerness to grow it. Doing kindnesses unnoticed is so much fun and joy!!! I am saying this who is a lot of times serious, maybe too serious tending to get lost in life’s dark problems. It lifts and brightens me up, makes me smile bringing back the child in me with some naughtiness (in a good way) ๐Ÿ™‚

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Week 15 -Courage

New year. I had an emotional December dealing with circumstances that has been another milestone probably in everyone’s life in the close family. Serious decisions have been made and carried out; a new chapter started in everyone’s life involved in the family. The mutual support and understanding made the process smooth and harmonious. I quietly cried my eyes out witnessing and participating in the process of the ‘old’ things and patterns going or transforming. This week’s lesson hit my eyes discussing the process of growth and how important it is to let go everything that no longer serves us to make space for the new. Every experience comes to us for our benefit including the difficulties to learn from it. It is in our power to be in harmony with the natural laws and our decision to let go of the old or something good for the better. These thoughts have greatly helped me to view my/our situation differently. The initial feeling of ‘tragedy’ has changed, there is a sense of hope, neccessery change and welcoming something new, better and stronger.

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Week 14 – Wild

I watched Wild from the movies. In this emotional turmoil that I am in just highlighted the importance of finding and being with myself. I learned a lot watching Cheryl’s journey. It was an emotional turmoil for her as well as physically challenging. Leaving the civilisation for a while led her to something much more precious. She went below the surface allowing herself to connect with her feelings working through the past and coming to terms with it; the ‘baggage’, which got lighter on the way physically as well ๐Ÿ™‚ She did not compare herself to others just kept up with her own pace and accepted that and kept moving forward however hard it was to do so at times. This story made me look at the real things, what is inside. Taking care of myself, my body, my mind and my soul because it is the most precious thing to have myself whole. Persistance, just to keep up with my journey however difficult it is. Appreciating what comes in my way; everything, a drop of water, warm food or safety as well as meaningful human connections. Finding acceptance, peace, strength and love within and without. I know what to do.

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Week 13 – Balance

This week was about keeping the balance, keeping myself upright and not letting despair overtake my emotions. Christmas was over shadowed with having to make a difficult decision in the family, it was an emotional turmoil for me. I kept reminding myself about where I was initially going and every time I caught myself wondering off the desired path entertaining negative thoughts I switched to repeating an affirmation. I did my sits every day and I am immensely grateful for Jana’s meditation that’s available in the resources; it has greatly helped me to find back to peace and love, where I really belong. Persistance, persistance. It was so difficult, but I kept going and going. Masterkeysaras’ blog has been another rock to help me move forward.ย “Treat your mind, body and soul as a temple. … Remember to slow down. Bathe in the stillness and breathe. All is well. All is loving. All is light. Connect and love.”ย  Moving. I have been experiencing loads of love and cooperation in the family, which I am sooo grateful for. Things are moving forward unexpectedly. I have balanced myself out, keeping coming back from the dark pit that I am used to with connecting to myself and omnipotence. I have achieved it because I made a choice in those moments. I wonder what it would be like to liveย fullyย in harmony? Wow. ๐Ÿ™‚

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Week 12 – New start

Right. After spending a few days in the darkness of being almost paralised, hardly doing anything I decided to continue this journey another way. Instead of being inactive watching how others get along wellย  by doing what they have to do I took another direction. Getting back to the community helped me back on track, realised I am not alone. I am so grateful for being in touch, others reaching out for me and vica versa.ย Noone makes it alone. Reading others’ blogs have been so helpful, I could connect with the challenges and the success experiences have fired up my burning desire to make my dmp come true. I have been getting up doing my readings, affirmations, cards, the mind gym (love it!) and in one day it did its work: I feel much more in control, alive ๐Ÿ™‚ Love doing my sits, sometimes I do it twice a day, helps me relax, focus and ground myself, keeps me on track. The courage to dare and the faith to do – well, I definitely need to gather more courage, I am walking around looking for and noticing courage everywhere. I love this week’s lesson by Haanel feel like doing it for longer than a week.ย Your ability to think is your ability to act upon the Universal Mind –ย it is wonderful to know this, I feel incredibly blessed; and when I was thinking about it during my sits it felt such a deep, eternal fact that it felt like I was part of an endless ocean.

The fifty minutes task last Sunday was an amazing experience for me. I wriggled a lot first to settle down with the mirror, it was uncomfortable to talk to myself face to face (uupps, I think there is a problem there). I repeated my one-sentence-dmp looking at myself from far feeling silly and embarrassed. Then I started to have fun, varied my tone of voice and intonation, enjoyed the exercise a lot. I later started to smile at myself coming closer and closer to the mirror, my enthusiasm reached higher and higher levels. Following I became emotional with lots of tears, especially, when I glimpsed at my laptop’s screen seeing the figure in front of the mirror talking to him/herself symbolising the task. It touched me so much, I saw the intention, determination, the being in charge, the courage in that figure, that he/she wants to work on him/herself, wants to change something for the better. Can’t wait to do this exercise again.

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Week 11 – To do or not to do

That is the question. Things have settled down around my Father, the initial shock is over. Why is it that I get on top of things and deliver when it is urgent, then when I can breathe again I just stop with everything? It could be another way. If I did my best emergencies would not even occure I guess, my life would be different. Is it a bad habit?ย  An old embedded pattern? An addiction? I struggle with this. I did not do much this week regarding my exercises. I have fallen back into that lazy, doing nothing state. But as I have become more aware, I am realising that it is a choice. It is up to me what I do now, where I go from this situation. So this is my response-ability how I respond now. If you always do what you’ve always done you’ll always get what you’ve always got. I am literally at the doorstep of a new reality or at least the opportunity of it and I am hesitating. What’s wrong with me??!! Come on! Do it now!

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Week 10 – Persistance

I have been with my elderly Father sorting out things for him, which has been very intense emotionally. Doing the mkmma material has become very important, it is like having something that balances me out, it is like oxigen for me. There was a point when I felt this was all too much for me and I couldn’t cope. The yin-yang symbol comes to my mind when there is a little white dot in the middle of the darkness. I surrendered, let go of everything, sort of handing it all over to the universe (or someone, something). I gave up worrying about him and thinking what if this, what if that and wanting to do something externally. I just carried on with my reading and sits, I go to sleep with my ear phones in listening to my recording. There has been a turn: I feel more balanced, have been lifted out from the despair I was in. I feel like I am safe together with him. The more I look into his things the more I find to solve and sort out but the whole process is smooth, things are coming to us. I had been apprehensive about the burokracy in my country, but everywhere I go I find kindness and co-operation which I am so grateful for. I feel much more at peace and it is wonderful to know that I/We are held. There is an invisible golden net working with fine fingers ๐Ÿ™‚ Persistance came at the right time, I need to carry on with the internal work keeping the end result in mind trusting and not worrying about anything. Knowledge does not apply itself.

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